The Kids – A Poem

I wrote this piece earlier in the year as a position poem sample for my students. The assignment called for students to pick an issue that mattered to them and draft a free-verse piece that shed light on the issue. The parameters of the assignment were broad-by-design. I wanted students to give life to an issue, challenge a powerful system, call for change, examine their feelings – really just take a position on ANYTHING that mattered to them.

To quote Daniel Hill, author of White Awake, and removing his religious beliefs and his theistic lens, Hill posits that “young people who navigate this world on a daily basis” serve as the “greatest subject matter experts on race, justice, and identity” (179). And I couldn’t agree more that our youth have so much to teach adults if we are willing to listen – I’ll be expanding on this topic in a coming blog, so check back for that.

In the poem below, I’m trying to challenge the misconception that many kids nowadays are all the same – lazy and apathetic – when, really, they just need a chance to grow up.

Sometimes, I feel like the Catcher in Rye

Sometimes, I feel like the Catcher in Rye

The one who can’t save all the kids,

All the kids who fall over the cliff.

Sometimes, I feel like a gnat,

Buzzing in and out of their ears,

Neither seen nor ever really heard.

Sometimes, I used to tell myself 

The kids don’t want to be saved,

And maybe they don’t want the help.

But it’s a lot easier to tell yourself that

Than to get up and give them your best

Until they too uncover their own very best. 

And they will, trust me, they will,

For an education is a gift always appreciating

An education is a future infinitely. 

An education is a skeleton key

That unlocks as many doors

And one is willing to turn.

So, give them time, our hope, our dreams,  

The next generation are they

And everything in between.

For they will come to conclude 

What you have never not known:

That they’re worth fighting for

That they’re worth fighting for

That you are worth fighting for – 

Believe it or not, 

It’s true.

My White Privilege Conversation

I stood in front of my students at the beginning of the school year. We were about to start our first unit built around Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird. The unit was going to require many mature and sensitive discussions about race, both in the text and in our own lives.

To paraphrase, “I’m white,” I said unabashedly, raising my hand. Some of the looks I got ranged from This guy is nuts to WTF?!?! Some were just blank.

Still, I continued, “I cannot claim to have been the object of racial scorn or prejudice. I cannot claim to know what it feels like to be considered different or a minority or to be judged based on my skin color or culture or religion. But I will always listen and try to understand, try to be empathetic, as we work together to challenge systems that have been unfair to people of color for far too long.”

Would I have started out a discussion like this my first year teaching in Bridgeport, CT, or even when I was a more established teacher at a private, international school in Westchester, NY? The answer is no.

Why?

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The Wisdom

Below is the PowerPoint I showed my students on their final day of 8th grade ELA:

Find your motivation for yourself. 

Realize that there are others in this world besides you and make your community better starting with yourself. 

Be humble & and recognize that you haven’t achieved anything until you actually achieve it. 

Talk is cheap – let your work speak for itself. People who take care of their business don’t need to broadcast their greatness to the world. 

Help others around you – it’s a lot easier to work together than it is to work against one another. 

Be kind – my father always told me it doesn’t cost anything to be kind. 

Ask for help – everyone eventually needs it. 

Avoid excuses – eventually, nobody cares why something didn’t get done, only that you didn’t get it done. 

For those who want to lie: 1. It always catches up to you; 2. It makes you look awful when you get caught; 3. The longer your story is, the less believable it is. 

Recognize that your words and actions truly do matter moving forward, so think about your future and your family and how your decisions will affect your own life, and no one else’s. 

And finally, proofread your work!!!!!!

The Longest Shortest Year

This year was the longest shortest year of my life. Sounds paradoxical, but it’s true. In my nearly 10 years as an educator, I haven’t worked this hard at grading student work, developing curricula, keeping a consistent dialogue with families, or even monitoring and following up with students regularly since my first year or two as a teacher.

This year, I was challenged to be better than I’d ever been. I received constructive criticism for the first time since my time in Bridgeport nearly a decade ago. And honestly, I didn’t know how to take it, at first. Not that I couldn’t handle it – I’m my harshest critic – but what did I do with it or rather where did I even start when it came to fixing some of the highlighted issues?

My lowest point came within the first month or two when I broke down at like 5:45 in the morning, lamenting to my wife if I had made the right decision to leave a place where I had established a reputation, had built a foundation.

Even if I was miserable for the past few years there, at least I had the respect of my students.

Was this new situation better? The kids weren’t responding, weren’t listening, weren’t respectful of my position or what I was trying to teach them. I had spent the summer revising my units of study, making them academically rigorous – or at least that’s what I thought I was doing until they fell flat to start the school year out. I was failing, flailing in every direction trying to find something that worked, yet nothing I did seemed to resonate. I could not help but think that maybe all the years I had spent in a cushy private school had made me soft. Maybe I just was not cut out to be an educator in an urban setting anymore.

Leading up to that moment, I actually wasn’t. I needed to adapt in order to survive. The more I thought about what was missing – higher quality work, preparedness for class, and the requisite pride needed to produce one’s best – the more I realized I needed to adjust my instruction and slow down. My students were not where they needed to be academically or in regards to their maturity. That, though, did not mean they would not get there if I developed my lessons in a way that built my students up with them.

Then, it clicked and the feedback I was receiving from both my in-class observations and unit-planning meetings started to make sense. It became clear what I had to do. Stop trying to do so much in each lesson; instead have a clear focus of how the exercises prepare them for the culminating assessment and contribute to the skills you want the students to take away.

That was really the beginning of the work. Except it now had purpose. And I began to see the results in the classroom as the quality of work increased along with student engagement across the board. Kids were excited to come to class to see what we would learn about next – or maybe what crazy musing I would utter next – and I was believing more and more that I had made the right decision to be their teacher.

While I know there is so much more for me to do in the classroom and far more challenges that lay ahead, I am in a good place professionally.

For the first time in a long time.

I’m Back!

After what has been a LONG year with more late nights than I’ve had in a while as an educator, I’m back!

Over the past year, I was challenged to think about the needs of every single student, challenged to bring content to life, challenged to assess in myriad ways – challenged to be a better teacher overall. The adjustment certainly tested me, but because of it I am in a good place professionally for the first time in far too long.

That’s exactly why I took the year off from writing: to rediscover my passions and to recommit myself to them. With a clear head and fresh eyes, I look forward to the boundless possibilities ahead.

Check back for a new blog each Monday & regular updates on the projects I’m working on in between!

What’s Andrew Reading Update

While I have not been reading as often as I would like, I am ANXIOUSLY awaiting the arrival of Angie Thomas’s new novel ‘On the Come Up‘.

In the meantime, if you need any YA and adult book recommendations, check out the What’s Andrew Reading tab that I’m committing myself to updating on a more regular basis.

If I’m not going to be working on my fiction and blogging as regularly as I have in the past, the least I can do is share what I’m reading.

Also, be sure to check back weekly as I intend to start sharing some of the work I’m writing with my students. Although I’m not writing with them on a daily basis as the reality is they need my help, by the end of the year I would like to say that I am able to write with them for an entire Do Now.

Still Hibernating, Still Happy

When someone asked me about my writing the other night, I gave an honest answer: I’m not.

Not now at least.

Why?

Well, as I mentioned in “On Hiatus Till December,” I’m fully committed to my new position and in providing ALL of my students with diverse learning opportunities.

What does “diverse learning opportunities” mean?

Engaging activities that get kids out of their seats.

Chances to explore and uncover on their own.

Assignments beyond the critical response and an essay to culminate the unit accessible to ALL learners.

New texts across genres.

Less talking at the kids and telling.

The past four-plus months have been as challenging as any in my educational career. I had forgotten how much work goes into starting anew somewhere else. I took for granted all that goes in to being a good teacher, including unit planning, teaching for understanding, and collecting data to inform instruction. And only now am I beginning to get my feet under me as I continue to build positive relationships with my students and push them to realize their potential.

And I can confidently say that’s happening.

I’m professionally happy for the first time in a long time. I’m personally happy too. Living my best life, I’m healthier than I’ve ever been. While my wife and I have no baby announcements – and don’t expect to have any anytime soon – I definitely have refocused myself on being the most supportive husband I can be as my wife has been tackling a new and even more demanding position at work. With this has come my sacrificing some of my writing time, which I can’t say has always been the case in the past – whether it be chasing the sun with friends or devoting an unreasonable amount of time to my writing and my work overall. As strong as my foundation is, everyone also needs support. And it took me a long time to realize that.

Even if I’m not writing my fiction, I know I will come back to my edits on ‘Knowing When You’re Too Young to Grow Up’ the second the school year ends. And then I’ll finish my edits on the comprehensive outline I put together for ‘The Heroin Times’ and get back to completing a manuscript. Finally, I’ll edit my units of study and come back to school at the end of August ready to give a new group of students THE eighth grade ELA experience.

So, there’s my plan.

Now, it’s back to putting together this new unit and grading and differentiating instruction, and being the best teacher I can possibly be.

For my students – students, overall – deserve no less.

Throwback Thursday: The Last Christmas in Manhattan

As we prepare for our first Christmas in our new home, I thought it appropriate to set it up with a Throwback Thursday. Originally posted on December 29, 2017, The Last Christmas in Manhattan recounts all of the emotions conjured this time last year. With reality setting in that we were going to move after our lease expired, my wife and I became sappy and nostalgic. We were coming to grips with how many memories we had made at 1737 York Ave. even though that particular unit wasn’t her first choice (and was really only mine because I’m economical). 

Anyway, I don’t want to spoil it. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all!

Manhattan bustles in the holiday season with its mesmerizing storefronts and bright displays and deals that really aren’t deals at all, with its teeming streams of shoppers and sightseers, with its luminescent lights down Park Avenue that shine in the night.

I thought maybe we would get a little pristine snow and gander it before the machines taint it in grime. But, alas, that wasn’t the case. Just the sub-20 degree temperatures as my father-in-law sends me pics of the pool he’s next to in Florida.

This year, as my wife and I were about to set up our Christmas tree and decorate for the holiday that seems to come upon us quicker and quicker each year, we had a realization. This will be our last Christmas in Manhattan for the foreseeable future.

But, why would we leave the only place my wife has ever called home, a place where our closest friends and my wife’s family reside? Because most have to leave eventually, unless of course they want to rent their whole lives away or they have indispensable cash or are willing to buy and bet that Manhattan real estate value will continue to go up even if it appears it can’t go any higher. I think that’s called a bubble.

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On Hiatus Till December

Regretfully, I am taking a hiatus from blogging and writing until December.

Why?

Well, I’ve started a new job that is a huge adjustment – and not in a bad way. When you have grown accustomed to a certain way of teaching and a certain way of functioning at a job you have been at for a while overall, there are bound to be some bumps in the road.

And that’s okay.

I will continue to grow, adjust, and eventually flourish. I am a teacher before I am a writer, after all.

Until I get a system down and achieve a level of comfort, I would be doing my students and myself a disservice if I weren’t giving my new position my undivided attention.

So, I’ll check back in December.

Or hopefully sooner.

And then, it’s one more round of edits on KNOWING WHEN YOU’RE TOO YOUNG TO GROW UP (thanks for the help KMW Editorial ) + continuing writing THE HEROIN TIMES (thanks for the help Foday Samateh).

Hopeful for the future,

Andrew Chapin

 

Throwback Thursday: Free to Wear Sunscreen

Originally posted on October 16, 2017, “Free to Wear Sunscreen” is Andrew Brown’s last night in Italy where he must confront a past he’s avoided for too long, a past that might break him apart from his best friend Pete Goodman. 

See the ‘Knowing When You’re Too Young to Grow Up’ tab for more information on the project. As always, feedback is STRONGLY encouraged via the contact tab or comments section.

I staggered into the single, unisex bathroom ready to float away on the Arno in my drunken mirth. It was our last dinner on our last night. And I was finally content – finally – with Ant, Pete, with myself, with all of it. For once, I smiled in the mirror, I felt like I was ahead of the curve. Before I heard a stirring whimper behind me.

I turned to the craned back heaving over the edge of the toilet seat, spindly arms shaking, her whole frail frame shaking, meek face in between. It was Becky. I didn’t even notice her when I walked in.

And I stood stuck like a stroke in a place I knew existed but could never fathom, the difference between knowing about and experiencing, the difference between staying young and growing up. So lost in her own sickness, in not eating, in sticking her finger down her throat, she looked like an exhibit in the Museum of Natural History.

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